Hareini Mekabel

Your prayer does not go up alone

The Arizal (Rabbi Yitzchak Luria, the great teacher of Kabbalah in Tzfat, who died in 1572) taught that before you start Shacharit you should accept the mitzvah "love your fellow as yourself," and mean to love every Jew as you love your own self. His reason: then your prayer goes up joined with the prayers of all Israel, and a prayer like that can rise and bear fruit. His student Rabbi Chaim Vital wrote the teaching down.

The Arizal gave an instruction, not a script

Open the source and you will not find this sentence. The Arizal describes a decision you make before you pray. The Magen Avraham (a major 1600s commentary on the Shulchan Aruch, the main code of Jewish law) cites it from the Arizal's teachings. The sentence itself appears word for word in the siddur of Rabbi Shneur Zalman of Liadi (the founder of Chabad, who died in 1812). The Sephardic siddur Edot HaMizrach has a second line: "and I hereby love every one of the children of Israel as my own soul and might."

Most of all, your own friends

The same passage goes on: this applies most of all to friends who learn Torah together. Each one should count himself as if he were one limb of his friends. If one of them is in trouble, because of illness or because of his children, all of them should share his pain and pray for him. Then Rabbi Chaim Vital, who wrote it down, adds a personal line: "My teacher warned me strongly about the love among the friends in our group."

Read the first half of the verse

"Love your fellow as yourself" is the end of a sentence. It begins: "Do not take revenge and do not hold a grudge." The Sifra (the early rabbinic commentary on Vayikra) gives examples. You ask to borrow his sickle and he says no. The next day he asks for your ax. "No, because you said no to me" is revenge. "Here, take it. I am not like you" is a grudge. The command to love comes right after, in the same verse.

One hand does not hit the other

The Talmud Yerushalmi (the Gemara of the Land of Israel) explains the ban on revenge with a picture. Someone is cutting meat and the knife comes down on his hand. Would he hit back at the hand that held the knife? The Korban HaEdah (a classic commentary on the Yerushalmi, from the 1700s) spells it out: all Israel is one body, so taking revenge on someone else is like taking revenge on your own body.

The whole Torah on one foot

Rabbi Akiva (a leading sage of the Mishnah) said about this verse: "This is a great principle of the Torah." Long before him, the sage Hillel said something close. A man who wanted to convert asked to be taught the whole Torah while standing on one foot. Hillel answered: "What is hateful to you, do not do to your fellow. That is the whole Torah. The rest is its explanation. Go and learn." Hillel's version is about what you do, not what you feel.

Who is "your fellow"?

The Arizal says "every one of the children of Israel," and the Rambam (Maimonides, whose code of Jewish law dates to the 1100s) defines the mitzvah the same way: love every fellow Jew. That fits here, where your prayer joins the prayers of all Israel. In the Sifra, right after Rabbi Akiva, Ben Azzai calls another verse an even greater principle: "This is the book of the generations of Adam." That verse goes on: "in the likeness of God He made him." The Midrash adds: if you shame someone, know whom you are shaming.

You cannot talk in the middle of a fight

Rebbe Nachman of Breslov (a great-grandson of the Baal Shem Tov, the founder of the Chassidic movement) gives his own reason for taking on this mitzvah before you pray. "Because of conflict, it is impossible to speak," he teaches. Speech comes from peace. That is why each person, before praying, needs to accept the mitzvah to love their fellow: so that there is love and peace, and through that they are able to speak in prayer. Think of the last time you tried to talk to someone you were fighting with.

עַל יְדֵי מַחֲלֹקֶת אִי אֶפְשָׁר לְדַבֵּר. כִּי עִקַּר הַדִּבּוּר הוּא מִשָּׁלוֹם

One missing letter

Rabbi Menachem Nachum of Chernobyl, an early Chassidic master, points to a law: a Torah scroll that is missing one letter is not valid. He teaches that every Jew has a letter in the Torah, and that it is only called a Torah when all of its letters are joined together. "And that is why we say before every prayer: I accept upon myself the mitzvah to love your fellow." It is all one, he writes, like the Torah. Now think of someone you would rather leave out.

ולכך אומרים קודם כל תפלה הריני מקבל עלי מצות עשה של ואהבת לרעך וגו׳, כי הכל הוא אחדות גמור כמו התורה שנקראת תורה בהצטרף כל האותיות כולן

When you do not understand the prayers

Rabbi Yaakov Yosef of Polonne, a leading student of the Baal Shem Tov, starts with a fact about prayer. The sages who composed the prayers put so much into them that not everyone, even among the spiritually great, knows one part in thousands of thousands of what they had in mind. His advice: join yourself and your intention to the faithful of Israel who do know. That, he writes, is the secret of what the Arizal taught to do before praying. You take on this mitzvah so that your prayer and your intention are included with theirs.

לכך עצה היעוצה לכלול את עצמו וכונתו... ישתף כוונתו עם שאר שלומי אמוני ישראל היודעין כוונת התפלה והמצוה

Hating someone takes a piece out of you

The Tzemach Tzedek (Rabbi Menachem Mendel of Lubavitch, the third Rebbe of Chabad, who died in 1866) asks why this line comes before prayer. He builds on the Arizal: all Israel is one body, and each person is one limb. Every limb has something of the others in it, the way veins from the rest of the body run through a hand. So when you hate one Jew in your heart, you push away the part of that person that is in you. Then the flaw is in your own soul, he writes, and it cannot rise before God that way.

כששונא לא' מישראל בלבו הרי הוא מפריד מנפשו אותו חלק של זולתו הכלול בו... וממילא יש פגם וחסרון בנפשו

Do I have to say it?

The sources say it with different strength. The Arizal (Rabbi Yitzchak Luria, the kabbalist of Tzfat, who died in 1572) taught that before praying a person "needs to" accept this mitzvah. The Magen Avraham (a major 1600s commentary on the Shulchan Aruch, the main code of Jewish law) cites it from the Arizal, for before Shacharit. This siddur calls it "right to say." Peninei Halakhah (a modern guide to Jewish law by Rabbi Eliezer Melamed) puts it this way: it is "good" to reflect on the mitzvah before praying.

When exactly do I say it?

In the morning, before Shacharit. This siddur prints it just before Mah Tovu, the verses for walking into shul. The sources name slightly different moments. Kaf HaChaim (a Sephardic law commentary from the early 1900s): before you walk into shul. Pri Etz Chaim (a record of the Arizal's teachings): once you sit down in shul, before you start praying at all. The Kitzur Shulchan Aruch (a short guide to daily Jewish law from the 1860s) widens it: "before every prayer," not only in the morning.

Is saying the words enough?

The sources ask for more than words. The Arizal, as recorded by his student Rabbi Chaim Vital, taught to accept the mitzvah "and intend to love every one of the children of Israel as his own soul." No words are given there. Rabbi Shneur Zalman of Liadi, the first Chabad Rebbe, writes in his law code to accept the mitzvah before prayer, and in his siddur that it is "right to say" this line. The Sephardic siddur Edot HaMizrach goes on: "and I hereby love every one of the children of Israel as my own soul and might."

Should I be praying for other people?

Yes, and the sources tie it to this line. The Arizal taught about friends who learn Torah together: if one of them is in trouble, such as illness, they all need to share his pain and pray for him. The Ben Ish Chai (a book of law by Rabbi Yosef Chaim of Baghdad, late 1800s) rules: accept the mitzvah before prayer, and so, if a Jew is in trouble, pray for him every day, explicitly. Peninei Halakhah notes that the prayers are worded in the plural, because we are praying for the whole community.

What does the mitzvah ask me to do?

The Mishnah Berurah (a central commentary on daily Jewish law) lists it among the mitzvot that always apply, quoting the Rambam (Maimonides, 1100s): every person is commanded to love each Jew as himself. So he must speak well of him, and care about his money and honor as his own. Whoever gains honor from another person's shame has no share in the World to Come. The Kitzur Shulchan Aruch adds: even if that person is not there, and he only compared the two of them to look better. It lasts until he fully repents.

What if I am angry at someone?

The Torah forbids hating a fellow Jew in your heart: "Do not hate your brother in your heart." So the Kitzur Shulchan Aruch rules, following the Rambam: if someone wronged you, do not hate him and stay silent. It is a mitzvah to tell him: why did you do this to me? If he then asks you to forgive him, you need to forgive and not be cruel. The Mishnah Berurah adds how to say it: in private, calmly, in soft words, never so harshly that you shame him. If the hurt is serious, talk to a rav or another adult you trust.